Daddy & Mummy, this is for you.

So many times I've thought of becoming rebellious, but the thought of my parents unable to sleep when I'm out late, and whenever they hear the keys, the wake up to see if it was me. It's heartaching.

I want to have fun, but I want to be a filial daughter too. Why can't they just trust me a little more? Do I really have to resort to what my friends do: Just be rebellious until the day they give up telling you to come home on time.

I don't wanna do that, it's gonna hurt them I swear. Is it that difficult to gain people's trust? Even from the closest persons? I'm not old but I'm really not young anymore. I know this is freakin childish. But why can other parents trust their kids so much and yet mine are so conservative? Is it smth to do w where they were brought up? Is it because they really think too much? Some of my friends tell me is because their parents are really too busy to care about them. Does that mean my parents are too free to the extent that they have time to think so much? These two days I've been thinking to myself, what are the things that are stopping them from trusting me. Is it because I'm a girl? Is it because I look like I'm some kind of stupid bitch that hangs around w weird/playful/dangerous people? Like hello, my friends are not dangerous at all. My parents has always been unhappy about me being in bball, but don't they want to see a happy me?

I really wish they can read what my mind has been going through all this time. I've never thought of going home after 12 because by then there will be no bus (except for NR), I never dare to drink outside of my house. What we do is just sitting down and just mingle around, why can't they just see me doing that and nothing else? Really, I don't understand what is going on. Is it true that parents always think too much? My dad say I'll understand once I become a parent. Hopefully I will and put myself in my children's shoes too. It's not time to be 墨守成規, why can't my parents be more flexible?

I really hope my parents would read this. And hopefully, they will understand more about what I'm really thinking. I know this is being very childish of me, but I really can't take it anymore, I need a breather.

Thanks bloggie, I love you.

And to my readers, shut the fuck up and dont come and tell me bullshits, I don't need your comments about this. Why can't I password this post god damn it.